Patches Loves a Good Song!

It's a rainy day here in the Balkans. Today I had to spend six seconds with my landlords 4 year-old.... holy God. Give me a hundred squealing, poop-filled kittens any day of my life. That kid is a nightmare and makes me want to rip out my ovaries and throw them over a bridge as a preventative measure.

Starbuck and Boomer are doing well... Boomer is a total fat-fat though and squeals all the time. I wish Starbuck ate more, but I think he's okay. Just not a fat-fat.

I'm worried about what I will do with them while I am in Croatia in early May. :-/ If anyone wants to come "have a project" here for a week, let me know. My landlords were thankfully not upset by the kittens... I was 60% sure they would shrug and say "eh, well, we have a river right down the street."

Goals for this week: Read "The Snoring Bird" by Bernd Heinrich... make a batch of English muffins... educate the chilluns... don't kill anyone.

All right... here's a lil song I wrote today for Patches the Cat:

The Ray-Patches family would like to present.....

STARBUCK AND BOOMER!!!!!

Well, MY Starbuck and Boomer are tiny kittens. Patches was textbook I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant and spent her morning freaking out, prancing around, spraying blood out her backside and plopping out the occasional squirming creature. The best wake up call there is!!!!

But it was not all fun and games. Starbuck and Boomer's brother, Helo, wasn't ready for this big bad world and died on my floor.... that was pretty tough for me and I still feel sad about it.

Anyway, here's a video detailing the early morning excitement in the Mose Pijade alley-- look forward to lots of family pics this weekend!!

Here are some pictures for now:

Fail.

You all SUCKED at that game. Maybe you will be better at this one.

No kittens yet. So we're going to start a betting pool: what day do you think the kittens will be be born? Winner gets one plate of hand made cookies and 62 denars in coins!

Questions and Answers with Patches

A lot of people have been writing in and asking about how Patches is holding up. Every day is a struggle, that is for sure, but she is displaying the strength of a lioness during these trying times.

Today on PatchesWatch, I ask Patches the questions everyone is dying to know. This is part one of this highly anticipated series, so stay tuned for the next episode when Patches will talk about her favorite Kibbles flavor, her plans to sabotage Dushko's relationship with another alleycat woman, and her beauty tips for keeping your calico coat shimmering in those hot summer months.

Also, I know this episode ends with me abruptly saying "Oh my GOD!" and the reason for that is not because I found a bug or snake in my house, it was because Patches had shed about 1/4 of her body weight onto my black sweat pants in the time our interview took.

PatchesWatch: Kibbles and Cuddles

I'm beginning to think Patches is intentionally not having her babies just to make me mad. I want the kittens! Not to mention, Patches, you're putting a cramp in my Croatia plans. Pop 'em out already, God.

As I await kittens today, I will be making gnocchi from scratch and leveling my night elf druid in the Howling Fjord.

A Nest for Patches

PatchesWatch 2010 is officially in its final days.

The kittens are a-kickin', Patches is a-gobbling up all my effing food, Sara is a-nnoyed at the incessant meowing. I put together a little nest for Patches and have been showing her where it is in hopes that she will shoot out her babies THERE and not in bed with me while I'm sleeping (she'd do it, too!!!!)

There have been some concerns about the involvement of Patches's baby-daddy. I'm sorry to say that the cat-- whose name is, hilariously, Dushko and lives next door to Patches's babysitter-- doesn't seem interested in providing emotional or financial support. Also he's kind of fugly. I've made it clear to Patches that, while I can't support her decision to be so flippantly promiscuous, I'll always love her and will always be there for her and the kitten babies.